he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
