look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize