I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
