drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So much Jack, so little girl.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
