It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
