she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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