I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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