She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
