i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
