mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
