if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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