Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
