Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
