I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
