Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
