I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
