ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
