After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
