DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
