I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
