Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
