Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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