I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
