There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
