Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
