i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
