if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
