my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
