If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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