Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
