More tranny stories later!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
