remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
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I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...