you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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