question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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