I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
