i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My liver just had a heart attack.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
