jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
