Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
