I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
