Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
