your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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