oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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