dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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