Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
