I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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