you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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