just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
