We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Found the puke drawer
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
