Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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