Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
