Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
