She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you inspire me to be a worse person
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
