chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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