Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize