Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
