even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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