Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
