I'm pants shitting drunk right now
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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