let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
