I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Non-Jews are for practice
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Your cock deserves a montage
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
